I found a job and change once again…

I am back…but not in an old life, it’s kind of new. But it’s still up north. New city, new job, new people. And it’s okay, it’s new, it’s different, but it’s okay. I know “okay” sounds not like wow, not like mindblowing, not like whooohoo. It was like wow, mindblowing, whooohoo the first weeks….and then there was this hole, this reality which caught me, which made me negate everything lasted around four days. And it kind of ended with my dearest friend from Iceland saying “Maria, remember, it was never easy, even not here. You had also struggles here. And we lived a normal life in the end, with working, being tired of work and so on.” Thanks to her I realised she is right. Big love for those friends who put you back where you should be. In reality. Since then reality is my friend again and I am okay. And okay is good. Cause I like it here, I like the new city, I love to be closer to my love, to discover great new places in his and my city, to be close to an old and beloved friend again, to live with cool flatmates, to enjoy a real summer with biking home in the middle of the night in a shirt and shorts, to bike with my old bike from childhood, to eat fresh fruits and greens from the farmers markets, to grow our own fruits and greens at the balcony, to still have Iceland in my head almost every day (as I work for an Iceland travel agency planning trips for germans), to have great and nice collagues, to have a good and okay life.

I learned in the past years, that it does not depend where you are, it depends on you, what you do out of situations, places, your life in general. But I have to remind myself on that every now and then. So, for now it’s okay to be here, to live this life. Hello there, I am still here.


P.S. And yes, I do miss Iceland a lot!

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I want to be free…

When I was a child I learned from my mom, that everybody should be able to live a life as we want to, that we should love whom we want to love, that we should be kind to each other.

Of course I knew and still know, that this is a goal which is still one to be reached.

But I was feeling it as a child and I am still feeling it. I was bursting into tears when I heard about violence against foreigners, black people, homosexual people. I didn’t understand and still don’t understand inhumanity. Cause this is one thing I am very true believing: we can live in peace together.

Ok ok, as a child I didn’t know about all the corrupt and nasty things going on not just based on “normal” people, also coming from governments and industries. The world is a bit more difficult place, than a schoolyard or a playground is.

I am happy that I raised in a place where I could be myself as much as possible, so I could choose my education, I could choose my university, my friends, my partners, my sexuality, my cloths, my way of life. And let me tell you: I met the greatest people you could think of during my studies, my travels or holidays. And you know why they are so great? Cause they all have different lifes, backgrounds, sexuality, genders, opinions, they have different ways of living. And they shared their lifes with me, sometimes for ten minutes, sometimes for some months or even years. And even if it were just ten minutes, I learned from them, I got energy from them which told me: live your life as you want, be free, be true, be open and kind. Through them I saw the world from many perspectives. And this is what makes me strong and free and happy.

I also met people who were not like that, who tried to limit me, who tried to tell me how I am supposedo be, how I am supposed to act as a woman, how I am supposed to live my life and how I am supposed to think. And I didn’t like that, cause they tried to take my freedom to be a human being, to act like a human, to think like a human. This people don’t give me anything, but I learn from them, what I don’t need in my life:

intolerance, racism, sexism, homophobia.

Now I see the world changing (or it might come to a point were it already was before). It’s gonna be the so called “Most powerful man in the world” who is well known for his disrespectful, sexist, racist, homophobic speaches. There is a party in my home country which is also well known for the same kind of speaches and opinions which is getting more and more power and I would not be surprised if they would be one of the most powerful parties in my home country in the coming election. Beside these political powers (which is spreading all over Europe) the people start to feel empowered by them so they start to attack other people, verbal and physical, and they start to be openly racists, sexists, homophobic again. No, it’s luckily not all of them, but too much.

If we don’t fight for our freedom to be who we want to be and to be who we already are, then we gonna be the ones who will be chased through the streets, through the country cause we are women, we are men, we are transgender, we are homosexual, we are black, we are lefts, we are homeless, cause we are humans.

I want to be free!

Meryl…

Meryl Streep was saying really important things during her speech at the Golden Globes. It’s so important to stand up against the actual things happening. And it’s not just happening “there”, it’s happening here as well. And not just the Americans are fucked with their new “chosen one”, no, I think we all will be fucked. But thats another chapter of this lifetime.

Meryl Streep’s Golden Globes acceptance speech in full:

“Please sit down. Thank you. I love you all. You’ll have to forgive me. I’ve lost my voice in screaming and lamentation this weekend. And I have lost my mind sometime earlier this year, so I have to read.

Thank you, Hollywood Foreign Press. Just to pick up on what Hugh Laurie said: You and all of us in this room really belong to the most vilified segments in American society right now. Think about it: Hollywood, foreigners and the press.

But who are we, and what is Hollywood anyway? It’s just a bunch of people from other places. I was born and raised and educated in the public schools of New Jersey. Viola was born in a sharecropper’s cabin in South Carolina, came up in Central Falls, Rhode Island; Sarah Paulson was born in Florida, raised by a single mum in Brooklyn. Sarah Jessica Parker was one of seven or eight kids in Ohio. Amy Adams was born in Vicenza, Italy. And Natalie Portman was born in Jerusalem. Where are their birth certificates? And the beautiful Ruth Negga was born in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, raised in London — no, in Ireland I do believe, and she’s here nominated for playing a girl in small-town Virginia.

Ryan Gosling, like all of the nicest people, is Canadian, and Dev Patel was born in Kenya, raised in London, and is here playing an Indian raised in Tasmania. So Hollywood is crawling with outsiders and foreigners. And if we kick them all out you’ll have nothing to watch but football and mixed martial arts, which are not the arts.

They gave me three seconds to say this, so: An actor’s only job is to enter the lives of people who are different from us, and let you feel what that feels like. And there were many, many, many powerful performances this year that did exactly that. Breathtaking, compassionate work.

But there was one performance this year that stunned me. It sank its hooks in my heart. Not because it was good; there was nothing good about it. But it was effective and it did its job. It made its intended audience laugh, and show their teeth. It was that moment when the person asking to sit in the most respected seat in our country imitated a disabled reporter. Someone he outranked in privilege, power and the capacity to fight back. It kind of broke my heart when I saw it, and I still can’t get it out of my head, because it wasn’t in a movie. It was real life. And this instinct to humiliate, when it’s modeled by someone in the public platform, by someone powerful, it filters down into everybody’s life, because it kinda gives permission for other people to do the same thing. Disrespect invites disrespect, violence incites violence. And when the powerful use their position to bully others we all lose. OK, go on with it.

OK, this brings me to the press. We need the principled press to hold power to account, to call him on the carpet for every outrage. That’s why our founders enshrined the press and its freedoms in the Constitution. So I only ask the famously well-heeled Hollywood Foreign Press and all of us in our community to join me in supporting the Committee to Protect Journalists, because we’re gonna need them going forward, and they’ll need us to safeguard the truth.

One more thing: Once, when I was standing around on the set one day, whining about something — you know we were gonna work through supper or the long hours or whatever, Tommy Lee Jones said to me, “Isn’t it such a privilege, Meryl, just to be an actor?” Yeah, it is, and we have to remind each other of the privilege and the responsibility of the act of empathy. We should all be proud of the work Hollywood honours here tonight.

As my friend, the dear departed Princess Leia, said to me once, take your broken heart, make it into art.”

Zweinsam…

Önundarfjordur24
“Und am Ende schliefen wir immer wieder Arm in Arm ein, sehr vertraut und ich hätte diese Momente gern mitgenommen in den Tag. Ich hätte gern deine Nähe gespürt, außerhalb unserer Bettlaken. Doch da war nichts, nur die Enge in meiner Herzgegend. Ich habe mich einsam gefühlt in deiner Nähe.”

Den ganzen Text gibt es bei imgegenteil

good souls…



As I turn to you and I say

Thank goodness for the good souls
That make life better
As I turn to you and I say
If it wasn’t for the good souls
Life would not matter.
(Starsailor – good souls)

As I passed a difficult time, caused by the loss of daylight and some big rocks on my way, I see a light in the sky. It’s called sun. And it feels good to feel the days getting longer, the people nicer, this island more welcoming even if there are still snowstorms and icy temperatures. Maybe there are more reasons than just the longer days and the less darkness. I decided to punch this winter depressing mood in the face with action, with meeting new people, with fun. Not always easy when you feel like staying home but in the end you are a happy person when you come home after a nice roadtrip with people which you soon see as new friends. And suddenly you feel alive again, you start to communicate with your friends at home, with strangers, with your real family, with the chosen one in the westfjords, with old schoolfriends. And you see that all of this is worth to step closer, to stay here in that place.

This goes out to the good souls, to  my (music) friends in Hamburg (yay, in less than two months there will be Husum Harbour), to the closest ones with whom I can share fears, thoughts, happiness, to my family who are happy when I am happy, to my visitors who will come in april, may, june, july and august and whom I can show why I can’t come back and have to travel further. This goes out to the people I never met in real life, but with whom I already had interesting conversations about living, loving and about inspiration. And to the people I already met but who are even more far away than my homecountry, the people I met at my journeys or at their journeys, this people are sometimes as close as they would live next to me. A good heart knows no distance.

I need all of you, I need your inspiration, your spirit, your thoughts, your laughter, your ideas, your feelings. Thanks for that!

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